On Monday, I was eaten alive by one of the elevators in my office building. A simple trip down to the Subway on the first floor for a late afternoon jolt of caffeine very nearly turned into a Drama with a capital “D”.
After spending most of the day, including the drive in this morning, trying desperately not to fall asleep, I finally caved and headed downstairs in search of Diet Coke. I’ve been trying to cut back on the amount of caffeine I’ve been consuming – Diet Coke, Frappucinos, hot chocolate – because I desperately need to lose weight before Nationals in two months. I can hardly fit into my work clothes, much less what I’m considering taking with me to the conference.
Nevertheless, desperate times call for desperate measures, and lest I wanted to be seriously reprimanded for sleeping at my desk and have my boss regret bringing me into the company in the first place, some sort of energy boost had become a necessity.
The elevator shot me down to the first floor in no time at all, where I counted out change (what, you thought I’d break a perfectly good fiver when I had the prime opportunity to clean out my change purse?) to the baffled looking cashier. I think he’s fairly new – hence the bafflement.
The elevator was waiting for me when I came back around the corner. I should have taken this as a bad omen – the elevator is never where you need it to be, no matter what time of the day or night you’re trying to use it. I climbed aboard the same car that had delivered me safely not 5 minutes before, scanned my card and pressed the button for my floor. The doors closed …
… and immediately opened again.
Ooookay. No big deal, right? Probably someone hit the button after the doors closed. Except, no one got on. The doors closed again, and we rocketed up to my floor.
Where the doors did NOT open, and the elevator starting making a rapid, whiny dinging which sounded not unlike some kind of robotic goldfinch, and which indicated to me that something was Very Wrong.
Was the elevator stuck between floors? In need of maintenance? The fire department? The jaws of life? Would they have to pry the doors open? Peel my flatten carcass from the crushed remains of the elevator after it plummeted to the ground? Holy cable cars, Batman, this could be bad!
Then the doors finally opened. And by finally, I mean about 10-15 seconds later. Not wasting any time, lest the beast change its fickle mind, I rushed out onto my floor, shaking my Diet Coke to useless foam in my haste.
I’m amazed by the number of dire thoughts that ran through my head in such quick succession. It’s not as though I were trapped for hours and had time to ponder my situation and how little I’ve done with my relatively short life thus far. And it’s not as though I’ve ever had a credible fear of elevators before. Normally, my biggest concern about being trapped in an elevator would be that I didn’t have my purse book handy to pass the time until rescue.
I’m not sure what made me so uneasy today at the prospect of being trapped. But one thing is for sure.
Next time, I’m going to give serious thought to taking the stairs.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Setting Myself Up For Disaster
It's hardly a secret that I'm not a big fan of making New Year's resolutions. Really, making resolutions just serves as a reminder of how weak willed I can be.
To my way of thinking, resolutions equate to promises to oneself to be something or do something. And while that is, in theory, a noble venture - to vow that one will stop smoking, or start exercising, or give 10 percent of every paycheck to charity - it is easier said than done. And when we break those promises to ourselves, as the overwhelming majority of us will, it does nothing helpful for our self image, and the cycle perpetuates.
Cynical? Perhaps, but I prefer to think of it as a realistic view of human nature.
But, while I'm not one for making resolutions - my will power isn't that strong - I am completely in favor of setting goals for the year. Goals may be reached or missed, but they are a tangible end to work towards. Whether or not we achieve our ends, having goals allows us to make forward progress. With a goal, we get a little further down that long and winding road towards what we want to achieve with our lives.
So here goes, my 2009 goals:
- Complete a draft of my Work In Progress. I haven't updated my progress meter in ages. Not because there's been no progress, but because much of it is handwritten, and I just don't have the patience to count out each and every word.
- Buy a home - townhouse, condo, farm - it doesn't really matter, as long as it's mine.
- Have a social life. I've never been much of a dater, but, as I would prefer not to spend my life alone, it seems logical to get out there and at least meet people.
- Travel to Ireland. This one is *going* to happen, if Dad and I can ever get our acts together and plan the trip.
- Attend RWA Nationals. Again, this *is* happening this year. With the convention practically in my backyard, it would be silly not to go.
I have many other smaller or more private goals, but those are the big ones. Not too ambitious, but plenty to keep me busy for the next twelve months, don't you think?
Friday, January 2, 2009
And the winner is ...
... Janet S, who provided the following photo of a prime example of an over-the-top Christmas bonanza:
Just look at all of those lights, figurines, and inflatable lawn decorations! It's madness!
Congratulations, Janet (who will receive the $30 gift certificate from Amazon.com as soon as I wind it up here), and thanks to all who submitted pictures for consideration!
Just look at all of those lights, figurines, and inflatable lawn decorations! It's madness!
Congratulations, Janet (who will receive the $30 gift certificate from Amazon.com as soon as I wind it up here), and thanks to all who submitted pictures for consideration!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Gaaaahhh!
Yes, I know. Bad blogger. December is always a busy month for me, what with the myriad of Christmas programs, concerts, performances, and other obligations that seem to sprout up like weeds. This December, in particular, has seemed full past brimming, as I've been in the midst of work turmoil.
For the last six months or so, I've been splitting my time pretty much evenly between my homebase office in Wilmington and our office in Baltimore. When my boss, who is also the man who created my job and hired me, became The Boss of the Baltimore office, The Powers That Be decided that my eventual transfer was a foregone conclusion.
It wasn't. Not exactly.
After more than six months of corporate politicking and basically being a human ping pong ball, arrangments were finally made, and as of Saturday, I officially belong to the Baltimore office.
However, the ping-ponging will continue for the foreseeable future.
Still, it's a step in the right direction. In an effort to not spend half of my life in my car, I'm starting to house hunt. It's a bit frightening, knowing that in buying a home, I'll be committing myself to decades of debt. But it's exhilarating at the same time, because I feel as though I'll finally get to put my stamp on a miniscule corner of the world.
So if you don't see updates here too often, know that it's not that I don't have anyting to tell you. I'm just running back and forth like a chicken with an ax-wielding banker hard on her heels.
***Only 2 more days to get your Christmas Vomit submissions in!!! All entries must be emailed to krardon@yahoo.com by midnight Wednesday in order to be considered. I know some of you out there have promised photos, but haven't delivered yet. It's NOT TOO LATE!!!!***
For the last six months or so, I've been splitting my time pretty much evenly between my homebase office in Wilmington and our office in Baltimore. When my boss, who is also the man who created my job and hired me, became The Boss of the Baltimore office, The Powers That Be decided that my eventual transfer was a foregone conclusion.
It wasn't. Not exactly.
After more than six months of corporate politicking and basically being a human ping pong ball, arrangments were finally made, and as of Saturday, I officially belong to the Baltimore office.
However, the ping-ponging will continue for the foreseeable future.
Still, it's a step in the right direction. In an effort to not spend half of my life in my car, I'm starting to house hunt. It's a bit frightening, knowing that in buying a home, I'll be committing myself to decades of debt. But it's exhilarating at the same time, because I feel as though I'll finally get to put my stamp on a miniscule corner of the world.
So if you don't see updates here too often, know that it's not that I don't have anyting to tell you. I'm just running back and forth like a chicken with an ax-wielding banker hard on her heels.
***Only 2 more days to get your Christmas Vomit submissions in!!! All entries must be emailed to krardon@yahoo.com by midnight Wednesday in order to be considered. I know some of you out there have promised photos, but haven't delivered yet. It's NOT TOO LATE!!!!***
Thursday, December 4, 2008
2nd Annual Christmas Vomit Contest!!!
Hello, you stalwart few who still check back from time to time to see if I've bothered to update my blog! I've had my reasons for staying away, reasons that I hope I'm free to share with you sometime in the near future.
In the meantime, a couple of notes -
Delusions of Grandeur now has a blog network on Facebook. The more people who join, the closer I can get to having automatic updates on Facebook. (hint, hint!)
The group writing blog I'm also a part of, Romance Roundtable, also has a blog network on Facebook, so visit us in both places. This week on the Rountable, we're celebrating the first publication of one of our members, Anastasia St. James, by The Wild Rose Press.
Finally, now that Thanksgiving weekend is past, I'm starting to see increased numbers of houses with exterior Christmas decorations. You know what that means, don't you?
CHRISTMAS VOMIT!!!!
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for my 2nd Annual Christmas Vomit Photo competition. For those of you who are new to it, this contest celebrates the gaudiest, most over-the-top display of home-grown Christmas cheer. As in, "Christmas threw up all over that house!" Those houses that you point at when you drive past, then circle back to take another pass to take it all in.
While I may laugh at the overwhelming and often tasteless displays, I also appreciate the effort that the homeowners put into their displays, as well as the love of the holiday season that prompts them to create them.
The rules:
1) Email your photos to krardon@yahoo.com with "Christmas Vomit '08" in the subject line. The winning photos will be published on this blog the week after the contest closes.
2) Photos MUST BE ORIGINAL. No surfing the Internet for crazy examples posted by other people.
3) Video cannot be accepted at this time. Mostly because I can't play it at work due to the firewalls.
4) DEADLINE for submission is midnight, December 31st.
This year's prize is a $30 gift certificate to Amazon.com.
See the photos submitted by last year's winner, Alice, here.
Good luck, and let's see some terrific photos this year!
In the meantime, a couple of notes -
Delusions of Grandeur now has a blog network on Facebook. The more people who join, the closer I can get to having automatic updates on Facebook. (hint, hint!)
The group writing blog I'm also a part of, Romance Roundtable, also has a blog network on Facebook, so visit us in both places. This week on the Rountable, we're celebrating the first publication of one of our members, Anastasia St. James, by The Wild Rose Press.
Finally, now that Thanksgiving weekend is past, I'm starting to see increased numbers of houses with exterior Christmas decorations. You know what that means, don't you?
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for my 2nd Annual Christmas Vomit Photo competition. For those of you who are new to it, this contest celebrates the gaudiest, most over-the-top display of home-grown Christmas cheer. As in, "Christmas threw up all over that house!" Those houses that you point at when you drive past, then circle back to take another pass to take it all in.
While I may laugh at the overwhelming and often tasteless displays, I also appreciate the effort that the homeowners put into their displays, as well as the love of the holiday season that prompts them to create them.
The rules:
1) Email your photos to krardon@yahoo.com with "Christmas Vomit '08" in the subject line. The winning photos will be published on this blog the week after the contest closes.
2) Photos MUST BE ORIGINAL. No surfing the Internet for crazy examples posted by other people.
3) Video cannot be accepted at this time. Mostly because I can't play it at work due to the firewalls.
4) DEADLINE for submission is midnight, December 31st.
This year's prize is a $30 gift certificate to Amazon.com.
See the photos submitted by last year's winner, Alice, here.
Good luck, and let's see some terrific photos this year!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
How dreadful
November 18th in Maryland, and it's cold. So cold, in fact, that the Weather Channel is calling for the possibility of snow around lunch time today. This would, if it were to actually happen, be our first snow of the year.
Once upon a time, this notion would have excited me. I would have eagerly watched the news, my eyes greedily tracking the churning white images moving across the map of the Mid-Atlantic region. Dreams of waking to a field of unsullied white, the icicles dangling from the roof sparkling like a crystal chandelier in the early morning light, would have ratcheted up my pulse to roller coaster-worthy heights.
Not so much anymore. My reaction has, sadly turned cynical. Though I see the beauty of the snowfall, and appreciate the hush that seems to fall over the world with each frozen flake that falls from the sky, mostly, I just dread it now.
It's no longer the weather that I always felt tied me to my home state (because Montana does have rather the reputation for snowfall). Now it's the bane of my work week, an added hazard on an already perilous commute (damned aggressive Maryland drivers), and just plain cold.
Perhaps my love affair with snow died it's slushy death that first year of law school, when I trekked all the way into Baltimore, just to have my classes cancelled, and then, many hours later when I could finally catch a train home, I fell knee deep into a pothole that was deceptively deeper than it appeared due to the icy cold and filthy runoff from the melted snow that filled it.
Maybe the final death knell was last year, when I slid off the road a mere 1/4 mile from my house, going 2 miles per hour and got my car stuck in a ridiculously shallow ditch for the better part of an hour.
Or maybe it's that regardless of weather, I still have to come in to the office.
Whatever the reason, I'm wishing this little snow storm north to Pennsylvania. Let them deal with it.
Once upon a time, this notion would have excited me. I would have eagerly watched the news, my eyes greedily tracking the churning white images moving across the map of the Mid-Atlantic region. Dreams of waking to a field of unsullied white, the icicles dangling from the roof sparkling like a crystal chandelier in the early morning light, would have ratcheted up my pulse to roller coaster-worthy heights.
Not so much anymore. My reaction has, sadly turned cynical. Though I see the beauty of the snowfall, and appreciate the hush that seems to fall over the world with each frozen flake that falls from the sky, mostly, I just dread it now.
It's no longer the weather that I always felt tied me to my home state (because Montana does have rather the reputation for snowfall). Now it's the bane of my work week, an added hazard on an already perilous commute (damned aggressive Maryland drivers), and just plain cold.
Perhaps my love affair with snow died it's slushy death that first year of law school, when I trekked all the way into Baltimore, just to have my classes cancelled, and then, many hours later when I could finally catch a train home, I fell knee deep into a pothole that was deceptively deeper than it appeared due to the icy cold and filthy runoff from the melted snow that filled it.
Maybe the final death knell was last year, when I slid off the road a mere 1/4 mile from my house, going 2 miles per hour and got my car stuck in a ridiculously shallow ditch for the better part of an hour.
Or maybe it's that regardless of weather, I still have to come in to the office.
Whatever the reason, I'm wishing this little snow storm north to Pennsylvania. Let them deal with it.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saying goodbye
This morning, I attended the funeral of a family friend who passed away last week. It was, perhaps, the most soul-wrenching scene I've ever been witness to, even as we celebrated the life of a good man who has surely gone to heaven to find his everlasting peace.
In the card that was handed to my mother at the funeral home was printed the cold, bare facts of the life of this warm and loving man. On the other side was printed Psalm 23:
Whether you are a churchgoer or not, I'm sure you'll recognize the words that have become so linked to the funereal service. They seem particularly apt at that moment, when we are grieving and it seems as though our hearts will never be whole again. There is comfort to be found in the idea that no matter what trials life holds for us, in this great big world, we are not alone.
The line that always speaks to me the most deeply is verse 6: Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
It's a reminder to me that no matter how utterly tragic life may seem at times, there is joy, and laughter, and hope, and love there, too, lurking under the surface, waiting for us to recognize it. That underneath the gritty reality of life, there is a love that will never fade, if we will only allow ourselves to trust in it. That gives me hope, both for this life, and the next.
In the card that was handed to my mother at the funeral home was printed the cold, bare facts of the life of this warm and loving man. On the other side was printed Psalm 23:
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.
Whether you are a churchgoer or not, I'm sure you'll recognize the words that have become so linked to the funereal service. They seem particularly apt at that moment, when we are grieving and it seems as though our hearts will never be whole again. There is comfort to be found in the idea that no matter what trials life holds for us, in this great big world, we are not alone.
The line that always speaks to me the most deeply is verse 6: Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
It's a reminder to me that no matter how utterly tragic life may seem at times, there is joy, and laughter, and hope, and love there, too, lurking under the surface, waiting for us to recognize it. That underneath the gritty reality of life, there is a love that will never fade, if we will only allow ourselves to trust in it. That gives me hope, both for this life, and the next.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)